I first heard this song about three weeks ago. I used to be an ardent Amy Grant fan but have not been following her as closely since she married Vince Gill. As her life changed, so did her musical style, and my preferences changed as well. As a divorced and remarried mother, I thought I would relate to her more than I did when I was younger, but that hasn't always been the case.
But the last year of my life has been especially difficult. At times, it felt like all I could do was pour out my misery at the feet of the cross. Miraculously, God gave me the strength to testify even in the weakest of my moments, sharing the raw emotion of balancing the human view of justice against God's omniscient scale to a group of 20-something guys at a job site. In my tears, I hope they saw hope even as I struggled to understand how great God's love for me was and is and always will be.
The verses don't woo me, but oh! the refrain of this song speaks volumes to my heart and the path I've been on.
"We pour out our miseries
God just hears a melody
Beautiful the mess we are
The honest cries of breaking hearts
Are better than a Hallelujah
Better than a church bell ringing,
Better than a choir singing out,singing out"
~Amy Grant, "Better Than Hallelujah"
What an amazing realization! Even in my despair, even in the mess, God loves me! He values my tears, my cries of desperation and they are more beautiful to Him than "Hallelujah!" because they are real and heartfelt.
I am so grateful to know, love, be known, and be loved by a Daddy who loves me in my mess. And really, our testimony, our message, is in our mess. How ironic for those of us who survived messes in our childhoods!
"Blessed be the Lord, for he has heard the sound of my pleadings. The Lord is my strength and my shield; in him my heart trusts; so I am helped, and my heart exults, and with my song I give thanks to him." ~Psalm 28:6-7 (NRSV)
[For more of "Then Sings My Soul Saturday" head over to Amy's blog--Signs, Miracles, and Wonders. Thanks to Amy for starting this meme several years ago!]
