Are you wanting to lose weight?
Do you balk at the high prices of a weight loss program like Jenny, WW, or N/S? Intimidated by the trainers at the gym? Not ready to read a tome before you get started?
ME TOO/EITHER!
But, I am lucky. I was a pre-nursing student back in the day and took a good general nutrition course back in college. (I know, great...she's armed with knowledge that she doesn't use!) So I know what I need to/should eat, I'm just unsure of the quantities that are best.
It's all good though. Our tax dollars are still hard at work! Check out this site which has been around for years and run by the USDA, MyFoodPyramid. It's simple to use. You've already paid for it (assuming you've worked in the last decade within the USA), and it's not nearly so intimidating. I am going to use it as a jumping off point for my own weight loss.
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Taking a step back
I have spent a large majority of my adult life overweight. After getting married at 18 and moving across the country, I put on almost 50 pounds immediately. A year and a half later, I got pregnant and broke 200 pounds. We had our second child almost immediately, and I weighed 200 when I found out I was expecting again. That was in January 1998. I did well during that pregnancy and only put on eight pounds. But I struggled taking the pregnancy weight off. In spring 1999, my doctor put me on phentermine (the safer half of fen-phen), and I drop over 60 pounds in less than six months. I wore clothes smaller than what I wore at age 18.
We moved across the world, and I did pretty well keeping the weight off although I struggled with adjusting my schedule and routine, battling the blues of being a whole world away from my friends and family. I put on just a tidbit of the weight I had lost again, but I held my loss for a year. And then I got pregnant with baby number three.
There was so much going on in my life at this time. I had a child with special needs, we spent 12 weeks in Hawaii on medevac during the early part of my pregnancy with two small children and no help or vehicle. I got dehydrated and was ordered not to do heavy activities. We ate out because we had no other option. Slowly, I put weight back on during this pregnancy and blossomed to a whopping 225 when I was checked into L&D for delivery in February 2001.
A year later my world fell apart. My husband and I separated. I lost 15 pounds within 6 weeks without even trying. But I never could break below 195. Until 2006.
I resolved one afternoon when I was home sick from work, that I was going to do it. I was tired of being the "fat single-mom" who everybody felt sorry for at work and at church. I was a good mom, I knew, but I felt like I had no value beyond that. I believed that I could never expect to find a good Christian man as long as I was so overweight. What was my body screaming about my lifestyle and about my ability to love me?
So I joined LA Weight Loss. I refused to use their diet bars, and I stuck to the program. I ate foods that I enjoyed. I did well in a culture of food and snacking at work. In fact, my weight loss was so remarkable that it encouraged many others in the office to lose weight, and the company eventually sponsored a "Biggest Loser" competition.
In April 2006, when I signed up for LA Weight Loss I weighed 209 pounds. In mid-November 2006, I hit my goal weight of 154. Along the way, I found that I could get by on mini-snacks of M&M's (10/day) and fruit instead of candy or cookies.
Last summer, I found out that my husband and I were expecting. I was working full-time, something I had never done in my previous pregnancies. And my job was demanding emotionally and mentally. A moment of "off" in my job could cost the company hundreds of dollars. I came home in the evening and couldn't hold my head up until dinner. I wasn't working out. I wasn't eating right.
And guess what? ! ?
That's right, I had a beautiful baby girl, but I also put on almost 90 pounds in a year. Yes, you ready that right. I put on more than 7 pounds a month. In fact, I put on more weight in a year than my 12-year-old daughter weighs. That's alot of weight.
I don't consider myself a yo-yo dieter because I have really only made a massive commitment to weight loss twice, and both times I did lose weight and keep it off, until I got pregnant...sigh.
But I have really been struggling to get my motivation and stick with it since I had our baby girl in April.
And there have been several factors influencing this. I'm not going to go into all of them here as some are very personal. I am dealing with them elsewhere. But I am determined to make the changes I need to do this.
And this is not going to be easy because we are heading into the holiday season and part of our family traditions have included lots of cookie baking. So this means that I have to find a new tradition to start with my family. I have to make changes that last through pregnancies, and not just until they happen. (I would love to have another baby someday...yes, I said it...but I won't do it at this weight.)
My goal is to weigh 150-155. My goal is to be able to run in the park with my kids, to hike in the mountains without losing my breath, to stand and do dishes without my back and knees hurting before they're done, and to be vital, healthy, and alive for my husband, children, and grandchildren.
Goal number one: Stop drinking soda, more than one cup of coffee, and increase my water intake.
I know I can do that. And I will continue to deal with the emotional issues that undermine my ability to believe in myself and stick with it.
We moved across the world, and I did pretty well keeping the weight off although I struggled with adjusting my schedule and routine, battling the blues of being a whole world away from my friends and family. I put on just a tidbit of the weight I had lost again, but I held my loss for a year. And then I got pregnant with baby number three.
There was so much going on in my life at this time. I had a child with special needs, we spent 12 weeks in Hawaii on medevac during the early part of my pregnancy with two small children and no help or vehicle. I got dehydrated and was ordered not to do heavy activities. We ate out because we had no other option. Slowly, I put weight back on during this pregnancy and blossomed to a whopping 225 when I was checked into L&D for delivery in February 2001.
A year later my world fell apart. My husband and I separated. I lost 15 pounds within 6 weeks without even trying. But I never could break below 195. Until 2006.
I resolved one afternoon when I was home sick from work, that I was going to do it. I was tired of being the "fat single-mom" who everybody felt sorry for at work and at church. I was a good mom, I knew, but I felt like I had no value beyond that. I believed that I could never expect to find a good Christian man as long as I was so overweight. What was my body screaming about my lifestyle and about my ability to love me?
So I joined LA Weight Loss. I refused to use their diet bars, and I stuck to the program. I ate foods that I enjoyed. I did well in a culture of food and snacking at work. In fact, my weight loss was so remarkable that it encouraged many others in the office to lose weight, and the company eventually sponsored a "Biggest Loser" competition.
In April 2006, when I signed up for LA Weight Loss I weighed 209 pounds. In mid-November 2006, I hit my goal weight of 154. Along the way, I found that I could get by on mini-snacks of M&M's (10/day) and fruit instead of candy or cookies.
Last summer, I found out that my husband and I were expecting. I was working full-time, something I had never done in my previous pregnancies. And my job was demanding emotionally and mentally. A moment of "off" in my job could cost the company hundreds of dollars. I came home in the evening and couldn't hold my head up until dinner. I wasn't working out. I wasn't eating right.
And guess what? ! ?
That's right, I had a beautiful baby girl, but I also put on almost 90 pounds in a year. Yes, you ready that right. I put on more than 7 pounds a month. In fact, I put on more weight in a year than my 12-year-old daughter weighs. That's alot of weight.
I don't consider myself a yo-yo dieter because I have really only made a massive commitment to weight loss twice, and both times I did lose weight and keep it off, until I got pregnant...sigh.
But I have really been struggling to get my motivation and stick with it since I had our baby girl in April.
And there have been several factors influencing this. I'm not going to go into all of them here as some are very personal. I am dealing with them elsewhere. But I am determined to make the changes I need to do this.
And this is not going to be easy because we are heading into the holiday season and part of our family traditions have included lots of cookie baking. So this means that I have to find a new tradition to start with my family. I have to make changes that last through pregnancies, and not just until they happen. (I would love to have another baby someday...yes, I said it...but I won't do it at this weight.)
My goal is to weigh 150-155. My goal is to be able to run in the park with my kids, to hike in the mountains without losing my breath, to stand and do dishes without my back and knees hurting before they're done, and to be vital, healthy, and alive for my husband, children, and grandchildren.
Goal number one: Stop drinking soda, more than one cup of coffee, and increase my water intake.
I know I can do that. And I will continue to deal with the emotional issues that undermine my ability to believe in myself and stick with it.
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
The Few
1-3 Jesus responded by telling still more stories. "God's kingdom," he said, "is like a king who threw a wedding banquet for his son. He sent out servants to call in all the invited guests. And they wouldn't come!
4"He sent out another round of servants, instructing them to tell the guests, 'Look, everything is on the table, the prime rib is ready for carving. Come to the feast!'
5-7"They only shrugged their shoulders and went off, one to weed his garden, another to work in his shop. The rest, with nothing better to do, beat up on the messengers and then killed them. The king was outraged and sent his soldiers to destroy those thugs and level their city.
8-10"Then he told his servants, 'We have a wedding banquet all prepared but no guests. The ones I invited weren't up to it. Go out into the busiest intersections in town and invite anyone you find to the banquet.' The servants went out on the streets and rounded up everyone they laid eyes on, good and bad, regardless. And so the banquet was on—every place filled.
11-13"When the king entered and looked over the scene, he spotted a man who wasn't properly dressed. He said to him, 'Friend, how dare you come in here looking like that!' The man was speechless. Then the king told his servants, 'Get him out of here—fast. Tie him up and ship him to hell. And make sure he doesn't get back in.'
14"That's what I mean when I say, 'Many get invited; only a few make it.'"
--Matthew 22:1-14 (The Message)
Jesus used stories or parables to speak to his disciples and to teach the people. He did this because he knew that there would be many drawn to his teachings who had no real kingdom interest in his life. Many just simply followed the crowds. He would teach using parables to the large crowds knowing that those who had true interest would ask questions or understand the symbolism. At times, he refused to explain himself to the twelve because they lacked faith and understanding.
This parable is representative of his life. In this story, the King is none other than God. His Son is the bridegroom, Jesus Christ. I believe that the servants He sent out where the prophets of the Old Testament plus John the Baptist. They were sent to warn the nation of Israel, the chosen people, of the Messiah's coming. They were invited to share in the wedding feast, and yet as Isaiah had predicted, the nation of Israel denied Jesus as being the Messiah promised to them.
So God extended the invitation through the apostles to the Gentiles, here characterized in verses 8-10. These are common people. They are not friends of the family. They are not distant relatives. These are the people in the busiest parts of town going about their business. All who will come are rounded up and brought to the wedding feast.
And yet, this parable ends on a sad note. The king arrives and finds that one "guest" is not dressed appropriately. The king is angered by this man's lack of respect and throws him out. Jesus ends the parable with a simple yet profound statement:
Many get invited; only a few make it.
I believe that Jesus taught this message to his disciples as a warning. They were a very select group. They were the ones who he explained the meanings of the parables to. And yet, he does not explain this one to them. Here he seems to weed out who will make it and who won't by not explaining the meaning of this parable. Perhaps it was a warning for Judas Iscariot. Perhaps it was meant to thrust a dagger into the hearts of the Scribes and Pharisees.
Or perhaps it was meant for us to read and to think about and ponder.
We know that in John 3, Jesus declares that he did not come into the world to condemn or judge it, but to save it. That lines up with the "many are chosen" part of his warning. It's the second part that becomes a challenge to us.
Few make it. Which makes me think of the Marines. And perhaps that analogy isn't all that bad. The Marines have prided themselves on being the elite branch of our military. Their basic training is more physically demanding, and longer than any other branch. They take immense pride in their uniform (oh how well I know this one...open mouth, insert foot--those dress blues ARE blue, not black...sigh). In fact, the Marines are almost always the first troops sent to any conflict. It is my understanding that the number of enlistees who drop out of basic or are disqualified are highest within the Marines. They are the select few.
In our spiritual lives, which are we? Are we recruited because no one else is left? Will we make it through the physical? Will we fail the first time we are sent out to train in the real world? When our time here on earth, our basic training if you will, is done, will Jesus look at us and choose us? Or will we be like the man who showed up but lacked the foresight to be respectful to his host?
Father, I know that I fail you so many times. I have reflected many times on chance meetings where I dropped the ball when I could have witnessed for you or lifted up a sister or brother who was struggling. I have come into your presence with disrespect in my mind and heart--holding onto the commonalities of human existence instead of shedding them for joy, thanksgiving, praise and worship. Forgive me for my disrespect. I am proud to have been chosen at all, and it is my goal to make it into your eternal kingdom. In Jesus' name, AMEN.
4"He sent out another round of servants, instructing them to tell the guests, 'Look, everything is on the table, the prime rib is ready for carving. Come to the feast!'
5-7"They only shrugged their shoulders and went off, one to weed his garden, another to work in his shop. The rest, with nothing better to do, beat up on the messengers and then killed them. The king was outraged and sent his soldiers to destroy those thugs and level their city.
8-10"Then he told his servants, 'We have a wedding banquet all prepared but no guests. The ones I invited weren't up to it. Go out into the busiest intersections in town and invite anyone you find to the banquet.' The servants went out on the streets and rounded up everyone they laid eyes on, good and bad, regardless. And so the banquet was on—every place filled.
11-13"When the king entered and looked over the scene, he spotted a man who wasn't properly dressed. He said to him, 'Friend, how dare you come in here looking like that!' The man was speechless. Then the king told his servants, 'Get him out of here—fast. Tie him up and ship him to hell. And make sure he doesn't get back in.'
14"That's what I mean when I say, 'Many get invited; only a few make it.'"
--Matthew 22:1-14 (The Message)
Jesus used stories or parables to speak to his disciples and to teach the people. He did this because he knew that there would be many drawn to his teachings who had no real kingdom interest in his life. Many just simply followed the crowds. He would teach using parables to the large crowds knowing that those who had true interest would ask questions or understand the symbolism. At times, he refused to explain himself to the twelve because they lacked faith and understanding.
This parable is representative of his life. In this story, the King is none other than God. His Son is the bridegroom, Jesus Christ. I believe that the servants He sent out where the prophets of the Old Testament plus John the Baptist. They were sent to warn the nation of Israel, the chosen people, of the Messiah's coming. They were invited to share in the wedding feast, and yet as Isaiah had predicted, the nation of Israel denied Jesus as being the Messiah promised to them.
So God extended the invitation through the apostles to the Gentiles, here characterized in verses 8-10. These are common people. They are not friends of the family. They are not distant relatives. These are the people in the busiest parts of town going about their business. All who will come are rounded up and brought to the wedding feast.
And yet, this parable ends on a sad note. The king arrives and finds that one "guest" is not dressed appropriately. The king is angered by this man's lack of respect and throws him out. Jesus ends the parable with a simple yet profound statement:
Many get invited; only a few make it.
I believe that Jesus taught this message to his disciples as a warning. They were a very select group. They were the ones who he explained the meanings of the parables to. And yet, he does not explain this one to them. Here he seems to weed out who will make it and who won't by not explaining the meaning of this parable. Perhaps it was a warning for Judas Iscariot. Perhaps it was meant to thrust a dagger into the hearts of the Scribes and Pharisees.
Or perhaps it was meant for us to read and to think about and ponder.
We know that in John 3, Jesus declares that he did not come into the world to condemn or judge it, but to save it. That lines up with the "many are chosen" part of his warning. It's the second part that becomes a challenge to us.
Few make it. Which makes me think of the Marines. And perhaps that analogy isn't all that bad. The Marines have prided themselves on being the elite branch of our military. Their basic training is more physically demanding, and longer than any other branch. They take immense pride in their uniform (oh how well I know this one...open mouth, insert foot--those dress blues ARE blue, not black...sigh). In fact, the Marines are almost always the first troops sent to any conflict. It is my understanding that the number of enlistees who drop out of basic or are disqualified are highest within the Marines. They are the select few.
In our spiritual lives, which are we? Are we recruited because no one else is left? Will we make it through the physical? Will we fail the first time we are sent out to train in the real world? When our time here on earth, our basic training if you will, is done, will Jesus look at us and choose us? Or will we be like the man who showed up but lacked the foresight to be respectful to his host?
Father, I know that I fail you so many times. I have reflected many times on chance meetings where I dropped the ball when I could have witnessed for you or lifted up a sister or brother who was struggling. I have come into your presence with disrespect in my mind and heart--holding onto the commonalities of human existence instead of shedding them for joy, thanksgiving, praise and worship. Forgive me for my disrespect. I am proud to have been chosen at all, and it is my goal to make it into your eternal kingdom. In Jesus' name, AMEN.
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
Knee time
14 if my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and will heal their land.
15 Now my eyes will be open and my ears attentive to the prayers offered in this place.
16 I have chosen and consecrated this temple so that my Name may be there forever. My eyes and my heart will always be there.
--2 Chronicles 7:14-16 (The Message)
I began this series of entries from 2 Chronicles chapter 7 last week before the election. I see so many parallels between Israel and the United States. And I know that I'm not the first or the last person to draw these parallels. It's a type and shadow.
God tells Solomon the same thing He has told His people since He first spoke to Adam in Eden. "Listen to me, follow my instructions, and your life will be simple and blessed. But if you ignore me, if you forgo my commandments and seek after wordly pleasures, your life will be filled with terrors, calamity, illness, war."
I almost need to take a step back to write this. I feel so much right now that I am unclear as to where I should start, how far I should go, and where I should end.
At this point, Israel was in a pretty good standing with God. Solomon, although not a perfect king, was a great ruler and had a deep faith in and relationship with God. He was king for one simple reason: God had promised his father, David, that if he remained in God's way, his line would be seated on the throne. Solomon himself had done nothing to earn his seat. His father had secured it for him. Solomon remained a powerful king because of the choices he made once he was anointed.
That is so much like our relationship with our Father. We have been given a seat, a place in eternity with the Father, not because of anything we have done, but because of what our Father has done. Our Father bought our place in heaven with the sacred blood of His child, Jesus Christ. We can certainly mess that up. We can back slide. We can deny God of His power. But we can not earn our place in heaven. We just can't. All we can do is disable ourselves from getting there.
Even so, God had a desire to be with His children Israel. Time after time, they went their own ways. They sought unions and marriages with peoples who served false gods. They turned their back on God and griped about their position. "There's nothing to eat! Not more manna! Can't we just go back to Egypt, at least we had onions and leeks to eat there!" And they fell from God's favor.
For a time.
The Israelite history is a circuitous one. The children of Israel would repent, would re-establish the law as the norm for their lives and government, and then something would happen to test them, and they walked away from God. And God knew their hearts. He knew what it would take to awaken their souls and bring them back to Him. Perhaps His punishments seem harsh to us. Can you imagine how they seemed to the Israelites?
But always, God has given them, us, another chance. But if my people, who are called by name, will humble themselves and PRAY and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and will heal their land.
Our country is called by the name of God. It was founded upon the principals of religious freedom, one nation under God. The cornerstone of our Constitution and Bill of Rights are biblical truths. We are Israel, we are His children, called by his name. But we have not humbled ourselves. We have not prayed and sought God. We have not turned from our wicked ways. And we live in a broken, troubled world because of it.
How do I know this? I know this because a man was elected today who will legalize partial birth abortion. I know this because many states are voting to redefine marriage as a union between members of the same sex. I know this because it is offensive for my child to say a blessing over lunch in the public school. I know this because our country is hated by countries of other faiths. We serve greed and the "redistribution of wealth." We award business leaders who practice high-risk tactics while tax money is being used to bail these businesses out. I know this because we wonder if it should be okay for a critically-ill person to ask a doctor for lethal doses of drugs.
Our country has turned away from God. I venture to say that today many people went to the polls and voted for "change" without looking at what cost they were going to pay. And it reminds me of the beginning of the darkest periods of the Israelites' history--the periods when they were oppressed by other nations, when their kings were power hungry, and when the blessing of God was removed from their nation.
There are two things that give me peace at this moment, perhaps three.
1. Even in the periods of history when Israel as a nation turned from God, He protected the minority of His people who remained faithful to Him.
2. So long as we are alive and standing, we still have the ability to get down on our knees and pray, seek His face, and be delivered and receive His blessing again.
3. God has promised to listen when we finally get "it" and turn back to Him whole-heartedly.
It is "KNEE TIME" in our country today. We are entering a period that would terrify me if I did not know the Word of the Lord. I know that God still is there. I know that God will still listen. I will hear from heaven. God will hear us when we call on Him.
I think of Jeremiah and Isaiah and the other Old Testament prophets. They must have been highly unpopular in their day. Can you imagine telling the leader of a mighty nation that his country and his people, including himself, would be delivered into the hands of Babylon? I wouldn't want that job. And yet, I feel some of that burden today.
In the United States, we have watered down what it means to be a Christian. We say a nice little prayer at an altar call, we put bumper stickers on our cars with the "Jesus fishy" on it, and if we're really good Christians, we join a small group Bible study and perhaps put our children in private Christian schools. In some ways, we walk the walk. But we fail so miserably in other ways.
I have a pre-teen daughter. I love her with more love than I could dream of. I want her to wait until she is married to have sex. And yet, even in the "church" community, it is not uncommon to hear of lowered standards. "Everyone does it anyway, you might as well plan that she will too."
Excuse me?!? God created marriage and sex to be mutually inclusive. Can you have sex before marriage? Sure, but don't count on a blessing coming out of it! And that is exactly what I've taught my daughter. AIDS? HIV? Sin! Birth control? It's called abstinence! If you aren't married, and you don't want to have a baby, you don't participate in sexual activity. This isn't a radical thought process! This is the way God designed it for our best interest.
This is only one example of the "dumbing down" of our faith in the United States. If you vote for a political candidate who will support further abortion rights and claim to believe the Bible is the infallible word of God, something just doesn't jive.
I heard today that Evangelicals in the United States were/are disillusioned with the Bush administration. Why? He is a human, imperfect like them. And they believe that by voting en masse for the opposite end of the spectrum is going to help restore their illusion? See the key here is this...it's all an illusion.
Our country has wandered so far away from its Christian roots, it's almost hard to believe that there were any to start with. What our country needs is change, but not Mr. Obama's marxist, socialized government-style of Kool-aid change. Our country needs revival.
My eyes will be open and my ears attentive to the prayers offered in this place.
I believe God chose our country to be what it was. It was to be a place where we could seek Him, serve Him, worship Him, free of the encumbrances of the government. And yet today, our country is exactly the opposite. But we have His promise to us, just as He promised Israel that when we seek Him, when we repent, when we pray, He will listen. And then He will heal our land.
We need more knee time. Don't settle for the lines that you are being sold. Don't accept anything less than what God has for you and for our country. Pray for revival to sweep our land. Pray for the restoration of a mighty country "one nation under God". Pray that we will again become "indivisible".
Whatever you do, PRAY.
Father, you continue to lay this upon my heart. I believe we are entering into a dark period in our country's history. And yet, we have chosen this path. We have turned from you and your promises to us. I cannot be change for everyone. But I can continue to write what you lay upon my heart without fear of being offensive knowing that my desire is to bless you and to do your will. And I will continue to come to you in prayer, in repentance, and seek your face, your will for my life. In Jesus' name, AMEN.
15 Now my eyes will be open and my ears attentive to the prayers offered in this place.
16 I have chosen and consecrated this temple so that my Name may be there forever. My eyes and my heart will always be there.
--2 Chronicles 7:14-16 (The Message)
I began this series of entries from 2 Chronicles chapter 7 last week before the election. I see so many parallels between Israel and the United States. And I know that I'm not the first or the last person to draw these parallels. It's a type and shadow.
God tells Solomon the same thing He has told His people since He first spoke to Adam in Eden. "Listen to me, follow my instructions, and your life will be simple and blessed. But if you ignore me, if you forgo my commandments and seek after wordly pleasures, your life will be filled with terrors, calamity, illness, war."
I almost need to take a step back to write this. I feel so much right now that I am unclear as to where I should start, how far I should go, and where I should end.
At this point, Israel was in a pretty good standing with God. Solomon, although not a perfect king, was a great ruler and had a deep faith in and relationship with God. He was king for one simple reason: God had promised his father, David, that if he remained in God's way, his line would be seated on the throne. Solomon himself had done nothing to earn his seat. His father had secured it for him. Solomon remained a powerful king because of the choices he made once he was anointed.
That is so much like our relationship with our Father. We have been given a seat, a place in eternity with the Father, not because of anything we have done, but because of what our Father has done. Our Father bought our place in heaven with the sacred blood of His child, Jesus Christ. We can certainly mess that up. We can back slide. We can deny God of His power. But we can not earn our place in heaven. We just can't. All we can do is disable ourselves from getting there.
Even so, God had a desire to be with His children Israel. Time after time, they went their own ways. They sought unions and marriages with peoples who served false gods. They turned their back on God and griped about their position. "There's nothing to eat! Not more manna! Can't we just go back to Egypt, at least we had onions and leeks to eat there!" And they fell from God's favor.
For a time.
The Israelite history is a circuitous one. The children of Israel would repent, would re-establish the law as the norm for their lives and government, and then something would happen to test them, and they walked away from God. And God knew their hearts. He knew what it would take to awaken their souls and bring them back to Him. Perhaps His punishments seem harsh to us. Can you imagine how they seemed to the Israelites?
But always, God has given them, us, another chance. But if my people, who are called by name, will humble themselves and PRAY and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and will heal their land.
Our country is called by the name of God. It was founded upon the principals of religious freedom, one nation under God. The cornerstone of our Constitution and Bill of Rights are biblical truths. We are Israel, we are His children, called by his name. But we have not humbled ourselves. We have not prayed and sought God. We have not turned from our wicked ways. And we live in a broken, troubled world because of it.
How do I know this? I know this because a man was elected today who will legalize partial birth abortion. I know this because many states are voting to redefine marriage as a union between members of the same sex. I know this because it is offensive for my child to say a blessing over lunch in the public school. I know this because our country is hated by countries of other faiths. We serve greed and the "redistribution of wealth." We award business leaders who practice high-risk tactics while tax money is being used to bail these businesses out. I know this because we wonder if it should be okay for a critically-ill person to ask a doctor for lethal doses of drugs.
Our country has turned away from God. I venture to say that today many people went to the polls and voted for "change" without looking at what cost they were going to pay. And it reminds me of the beginning of the darkest periods of the Israelites' history--the periods when they were oppressed by other nations, when their kings were power hungry, and when the blessing of God was removed from their nation.
There are two things that give me peace at this moment, perhaps three.
1. Even in the periods of history when Israel as a nation turned from God, He protected the minority of His people who remained faithful to Him.
2. So long as we are alive and standing, we still have the ability to get down on our knees and pray, seek His face, and be delivered and receive His blessing again.
3. God has promised to listen when we finally get "it" and turn back to Him whole-heartedly.
It is "KNEE TIME" in our country today. We are entering a period that would terrify me if I did not know the Word of the Lord. I know that God still is there. I know that God will still listen. I will hear from heaven. God will hear us when we call on Him.
I think of Jeremiah and Isaiah and the other Old Testament prophets. They must have been highly unpopular in their day. Can you imagine telling the leader of a mighty nation that his country and his people, including himself, would be delivered into the hands of Babylon? I wouldn't want that job. And yet, I feel some of that burden today.
In the United States, we have watered down what it means to be a Christian. We say a nice little prayer at an altar call, we put bumper stickers on our cars with the "Jesus fishy" on it, and if we're really good Christians, we join a small group Bible study and perhaps put our children in private Christian schools. In some ways, we walk the walk. But we fail so miserably in other ways.
I have a pre-teen daughter. I love her with more love than I could dream of. I want her to wait until she is married to have sex. And yet, even in the "church" community, it is not uncommon to hear of lowered standards. "Everyone does it anyway, you might as well plan that she will too."
Excuse me?!? God created marriage and sex to be mutually inclusive. Can you have sex before marriage? Sure, but don't count on a blessing coming out of it! And that is exactly what I've taught my daughter. AIDS? HIV? Sin! Birth control? It's called abstinence! If you aren't married, and you don't want to have a baby, you don't participate in sexual activity. This isn't a radical thought process! This is the way God designed it for our best interest.
This is only one example of the "dumbing down" of our faith in the United States. If you vote for a political candidate who will support further abortion rights and claim to believe the Bible is the infallible word of God, something just doesn't jive.
I heard today that Evangelicals in the United States were/are disillusioned with the Bush administration. Why? He is a human, imperfect like them. And they believe that by voting en masse for the opposite end of the spectrum is going to help restore their illusion? See the key here is this...it's all an illusion.
Our country has wandered so far away from its Christian roots, it's almost hard to believe that there were any to start with. What our country needs is change, but not Mr. Obama's marxist, socialized government-style of Kool-aid change. Our country needs revival.
My eyes will be open and my ears attentive to the prayers offered in this place.
I believe God chose our country to be what it was. It was to be a place where we could seek Him, serve Him, worship Him, free of the encumbrances of the government. And yet today, our country is exactly the opposite. But we have His promise to us, just as He promised Israel that when we seek Him, when we repent, when we pray, He will listen. And then He will heal our land.
We need more knee time. Don't settle for the lines that you are being sold. Don't accept anything less than what God has for you and for our country. Pray for revival to sweep our land. Pray for the restoration of a mighty country "one nation under God". Pray that we will again become "indivisible".
Whatever you do, PRAY.
Father, you continue to lay this upon my heart. I believe we are entering into a dark period in our country's history. And yet, we have chosen this path. We have turned from you and your promises to us. I cannot be change for everyone. But I can continue to write what you lay upon my heart without fear of being offensive knowing that my desire is to bless you and to do your will. And I will continue to come to you in prayer, in repentance, and seek your face, your will for my life. In Jesus' name, AMEN.
Choosing a mindset
If you know me, you know where my allegiances lie in light of the election. The candidate I voted for did not win. In fact, I haven't even seen a number listed for how many votes he did receive, not even in estimation as a sidenote. But that is because for the first time in my life I voted in line with my spiritual beliefs and not with the "big parties". (I'm going to forgo a spiel about how our country has forgotten that there are other parties...)
My vote was not a wasted vote. When I lay my head down tonight upon my pillow, I can rest assured that if I wake up standing before my Maker and He asks me why or how I chose to vote for the person I voted for, I can say that I voted in line with my beliefs, in line with the Bible and the law. I am at complete peace with that. My vote is my voice and my voice says, "I believe in Jesus Christ, in life, and in standing for those values in the face of a society who doesn't embrace them."
But since a new president has been elected, a man whose views are heavily contradictory to my own, I have some choices to make.
First, I am a Christian. I need to make the decision to do what Jesus would do. I know that Jesus looks at Mr. Obama the same way that He looks at me. He created Mr. Obama. He longs to have a personal relationship with him. He loves him just as much as He loves me.
Second, I am a mother. There are four children in my home (sometimes six!) who are looking at how I respond in light of a political leader rising to power who I vehemently disagree with. However, he is the chosen leader of our country, a country that I love, that I am blessed to live in because it allows me freedoms that I take for granted. My children are watching to see if I respect this man's leadership. They are watching to see how I balance my beliefs with the moral barometer of our country. They are going to watch how I act compared to how I speak.
Third, I am a former military wife. I understand the importance of the role of commander-in-chief. I know that Mr. Obama's role as such will have far reaching impact, in ways that many other presidents have not had.
So I need to make choices. I need to choose right now how to balance respect for the election and the person elected as executive to our country while still not approving of that person's views. And I plan to do what I know that my grandmother would do.
I plan to pray. I plan to write letters. I plan to email members of Congress. I will practice creative non-violence, if need be. But I will respect Mr. Obama's role as the elected leader. I will continue to be proud to be an American. I will continue to live with morals dictated by my faith and not the radical left or popular opinion. I will continue to live for Jesus. And I'm going to talk about my beliefs with my children more.
I'm choosing a mindset that is positive without embracing what I see as a moment of darkness for our country. And I choose to pray with a new fervency,
GOD BLESS AMERICA!
My vote was not a wasted vote. When I lay my head down tonight upon my pillow, I can rest assured that if I wake up standing before my Maker and He asks me why or how I chose to vote for the person I voted for, I can say that I voted in line with my beliefs, in line with the Bible and the law. I am at complete peace with that. My vote is my voice and my voice says, "I believe in Jesus Christ, in life, and in standing for those values in the face of a society who doesn't embrace them."
But since a new president has been elected, a man whose views are heavily contradictory to my own, I have some choices to make.
First, I am a Christian. I need to make the decision to do what Jesus would do. I know that Jesus looks at Mr. Obama the same way that He looks at me. He created Mr. Obama. He longs to have a personal relationship with him. He loves him just as much as He loves me.
Second, I am a mother. There are four children in my home (sometimes six!) who are looking at how I respond in light of a political leader rising to power who I vehemently disagree with. However, he is the chosen leader of our country, a country that I love, that I am blessed to live in because it allows me freedoms that I take for granted. My children are watching to see if I respect this man's leadership. They are watching to see how I balance my beliefs with the moral barometer of our country. They are going to watch how I act compared to how I speak.
Third, I am a former military wife. I understand the importance of the role of commander-in-chief. I know that Mr. Obama's role as such will have far reaching impact, in ways that many other presidents have not had.
So I need to make choices. I need to choose right now how to balance respect for the election and the person elected as executive to our country while still not approving of that person's views. And I plan to do what I know that my grandmother would do.
I plan to pray. I plan to write letters. I plan to email members of Congress. I will practice creative non-violence, if need be. But I will respect Mr. Obama's role as the elected leader. I will continue to be proud to be an American. I will continue to live with morals dictated by my faith and not the radical left or popular opinion. I will continue to live for Jesus. And I'm going to talk about my beliefs with my children more.
I'm choosing a mindset that is positive without embracing what I see as a moment of darkness for our country. And I choose to pray with a new fervency,
GOD BLESS AMERICA!
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Face Time
12 Then one night the Lord appeared to Solomon and said, “I have heard your prayer and have chosen this Temple as the place for making sacrifices.
13 At times I might shut up the heavens so that no rain falls, or command grasshoppers to devour your crops, or send plagues among you.
14 Then if my people who are called by my name will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, I will hear from heaven and will forgive their sins and restore their land.
15 My eyes will be open and my ears attentive to every prayer made in this place.
16 For I have chosen this Temple and set it apart to be holy—a place where my name will be honored forever. I will always watch over it, for it is dear to my heart...
19 “But if you or your descendants abandon me and disobey the decrees and commands I have given you, and if you serve and worship other gods,
20 then I will uproot the people from this land that I have given them. I will reject this Temple that I have made holy to honor my name. I will make it an object of mockery and ridicule among the nations.
21 And though this Temple is impressive now, all who pass by will be appalled. They will ask, ‘Why did the Lord do such terrible things to this land and to this Temple?’
22 “And the answer will be, ‘Because his people abandoned the Lord, the God of their ancestors, who brought them out of Egypt, and they worshiped other gods instead and bowed down to them. That is why he has brought all these disasters on them.’”
(from 2 Chronicles 7:12-16, 19-22 NLT)
Once upon a time ago, I was a military wife. And I remember hearing the enlisted guys talk about "face time". The term referred to the amount of time they worked with or directly under an officer who would have the ability to help them get promoted. Most of the time, you wanted face time. The enlisted members who received the most face time (for positive reasons and not for correction) had a great advantage for getting nominated for service awards and medals. Especially in the upper levels of the enlisted force, this face time which equalled being known paired with awards and medals can make or break a promotion.
Here in 2 Chronicles, God speaks to King Solomon after the completion of the Temple in Jerusalem. This has been Solomon's pet project, an inheritance from his father David who could not build it because of his military background. Solomon has spared no cost on parts, materials, and labors. I guarantee you that Solomon did not accept a single "lowest bid" to have this temple built. This temple was to be grand. It was to be legendary. It was to state for all the future generations on earth how much David and Solomon loved and served their God.
"I have chosen." God assures Solomon that this is a pleasing thing he's done. God's spirit must have laid upon Solomon and David as they chose the plan and location for this temple. God has chosen both men to be king in their due time, and He has chosen Solomon to be the architect of His Temple.
In the upper enlisted ranks, there is a selection process. Packages are put together, and there are sometimes interviewing boards to select nominees for promotion. Again, face time leads to being chosen.
"I might shut up the heavens, or send plagues among you." Wow! I'm not sure how Solomon responded to this declaration from the Lord. I can only imagine how I would respond. And well, I would have been indignant. I would have wanted to point out this temple yet again and ask why the Lord might send disaster to my door. I mean, this was one of Solomon's greatest accomplishment which the Lord had just blessed, how could He turn in the same breath and say He might send calamity?
But then I think about character, especially how we develop character. I've heard it said more than once that character is defined by how you responding when everything is stripped away from you. And at the root, our real character is evident when nothing and no one is around. While tragedy and crisis work to develop our character, how you respond or act when no one is looking really defines your character.
And I wonder if Solomon understood that God was not attempting to be mean or cold-hearted, but would seek true believers but putting their character to the test through famine and pestilence. Perhaps in his magnificent wisdom he could see that the Father knew what He was going to do. Or maybe, unlike me, he was patient and waited to hear everything that the Father had to say before responding.
I would bet that when there are selection boards in the military, one of the things that they look at is a soldier's ability to stay strong, rational, and effective in the light of crisis. And, if they have done this while under the direct supervision of a high ranking officer, I'm sure that the "face time" is immense.
We need to seek God's face more. It is too easy for us to seek the admiration and glory bestowed by men. Who doesn't like to get a Kudos or an "Atta Boy" every now and then? And our society is based upon achievement which only further propagates our desire to be the best and strive for excellence in the sight of men. And yet, it seems to be almost impossible to seek fame and adoration by the masses and still have a heart that seeks God's face first and foremost.
I believe that so many of my problems today arise from my desire to seek the face of the world and ignoring God and His will for my life. I put hours into training for career skills. I worked long hours, pushed aside my family in the attempt to pay bills so that we met the "status quo", and longed for promotion. And yet, I believe had I sought God's face first, I would have made my bills without the struggle to be the best employee by going above and beyond. In fact, I believe that I likely hurt my chances for promotion because I tried so hard. I was taken for granted by my employer. And who wouldn't take someone who works hard and for little pay take that for granted?
But if I had instead sought God's face, face time with the King, I believe things may have been different. My desires would have been different. My relationship with my children would have been different.
And the amazing part of it all is this: When I realized my error, and I turned away and began to seek the face of God, grace was there to wash away my past mistakes. God forgot about my misplaced priorities. He restored me--to my children, to the community, to the church, and to a loving marriage. All I had to do is seek His face.
Father, I am amazed at how easy it is to please you sometimes, and yet how ignorantly I choose to do things that are anything but pleasing. Please forgive me for the error of my ways. I come to you now seeking your face and the glory that only you can give me. And I pray that the beauty of your face will be reflected upon mine as I strive to know you more and more and serve your people. In Jesus' name, AMEN.
Check back for Part Two: Knee Time
13 At times I might shut up the heavens so that no rain falls, or command grasshoppers to devour your crops, or send plagues among you.
14 Then if my people who are called by my name will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, I will hear from heaven and will forgive their sins and restore their land.
15 My eyes will be open and my ears attentive to every prayer made in this place.
16 For I have chosen this Temple and set it apart to be holy—a place where my name will be honored forever. I will always watch over it, for it is dear to my heart...
19 “But if you or your descendants abandon me and disobey the decrees and commands I have given you, and if you serve and worship other gods,
20 then I will uproot the people from this land that I have given them. I will reject this Temple that I have made holy to honor my name. I will make it an object of mockery and ridicule among the nations.
21 And though this Temple is impressive now, all who pass by will be appalled. They will ask, ‘Why did the Lord do such terrible things to this land and to this Temple?’
22 “And the answer will be, ‘Because his people abandoned the Lord, the God of their ancestors, who brought them out of Egypt, and they worshiped other gods instead and bowed down to them. That is why he has brought all these disasters on them.’”
(from 2 Chronicles 7:12-16, 19-22 NLT)
Once upon a time ago, I was a military wife. And I remember hearing the enlisted guys talk about "face time". The term referred to the amount of time they worked with or directly under an officer who would have the ability to help them get promoted. Most of the time, you wanted face time. The enlisted members who received the most face time (for positive reasons and not for correction) had a great advantage for getting nominated for service awards and medals. Especially in the upper levels of the enlisted force, this face time which equalled being known paired with awards and medals can make or break a promotion.
Here in 2 Chronicles, God speaks to King Solomon after the completion of the Temple in Jerusalem. This has been Solomon's pet project, an inheritance from his father David who could not build it because of his military background. Solomon has spared no cost on parts, materials, and labors. I guarantee you that Solomon did not accept a single "lowest bid" to have this temple built. This temple was to be grand. It was to be legendary. It was to state for all the future generations on earth how much David and Solomon loved and served their God.
"I have chosen." God assures Solomon that this is a pleasing thing he's done. God's spirit must have laid upon Solomon and David as they chose the plan and location for this temple. God has chosen both men to be king in their due time, and He has chosen Solomon to be the architect of His Temple.
In the upper enlisted ranks, there is a selection process. Packages are put together, and there are sometimes interviewing boards to select nominees for promotion. Again, face time leads to being chosen.
"I might shut up the heavens, or send plagues among you." Wow! I'm not sure how Solomon responded to this declaration from the Lord. I can only imagine how I would respond. And well, I would have been indignant. I would have wanted to point out this temple yet again and ask why the Lord might send disaster to my door. I mean, this was one of Solomon's greatest accomplishment which the Lord had just blessed, how could He turn in the same breath and say He might send calamity?
But then I think about character, especially how we develop character. I've heard it said more than once that character is defined by how you responding when everything is stripped away from you. And at the root, our real character is evident when nothing and no one is around. While tragedy and crisis work to develop our character, how you respond or act when no one is looking really defines your character.
And I wonder if Solomon understood that God was not attempting to be mean or cold-hearted, but would seek true believers but putting their character to the test through famine and pestilence. Perhaps in his magnificent wisdom he could see that the Father knew what He was going to do. Or maybe, unlike me, he was patient and waited to hear everything that the Father had to say before responding.
I would bet that when there are selection boards in the military, one of the things that they look at is a soldier's ability to stay strong, rational, and effective in the light of crisis. And, if they have done this while under the direct supervision of a high ranking officer, I'm sure that the "face time" is immense.
We need to seek God's face more. It is too easy for us to seek the admiration and glory bestowed by men. Who doesn't like to get a Kudos or an "Atta Boy" every now and then? And our society is based upon achievement which only further propagates our desire to be the best and strive for excellence in the sight of men. And yet, it seems to be almost impossible to seek fame and adoration by the masses and still have a heart that seeks God's face first and foremost.
I believe that so many of my problems today arise from my desire to seek the face of the world and ignoring God and His will for my life. I put hours into training for career skills. I worked long hours, pushed aside my family in the attempt to pay bills so that we met the "status quo", and longed for promotion. And yet, I believe had I sought God's face first, I would have made my bills without the struggle to be the best employee by going above and beyond. In fact, I believe that I likely hurt my chances for promotion because I tried so hard. I was taken for granted by my employer. And who wouldn't take someone who works hard and for little pay take that for granted?
But if I had instead sought God's face, face time with the King, I believe things may have been different. My desires would have been different. My relationship with my children would have been different.
And the amazing part of it all is this: When I realized my error, and I turned away and began to seek the face of God, grace was there to wash away my past mistakes. God forgot about my misplaced priorities. He restored me--to my children, to the community, to the church, and to a loving marriage. All I had to do is seek His face.
Father, I am amazed at how easy it is to please you sometimes, and yet how ignorantly I choose to do things that are anything but pleasing. Please forgive me for the error of my ways. I come to you now seeking your face and the glory that only you can give me. And I pray that the beauty of your face will be reflected upon mine as I strive to know you more and more and serve your people. In Jesus' name, AMEN.
Check back for Part Two: Knee Time
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
[silence]
Sigh. I am taking a break from the political scene. I can't stand it anymore. The media bias has overwhelmed me--from both sides, from the mainstream left to the "backwoods" right views. I am tired of this campaign.
To be honest, I think the two major political parties have NOTHING new to offer. And I know that the smaller parties don't have the money to gain the support needed to win the election.
I am voting, rest assured. I wouldn't miss it for anything. Because above the irritating whine of the media is the knowledge that I have a voice, even if it is a small one.
And even bigger than that...I'm praying. Because I believe that the only thing that can save our country from where it is right now is God.
So I'm turning off the TV news. I'm avoiding some of my favorite blogs and websites. I'll be back on Wednesday. Until then, I'm going to pray. Perhaps I'll fast and pray too. Join me, won't you?
To be honest, I think the two major political parties have NOTHING new to offer. And I know that the smaller parties don't have the money to gain the support needed to win the election.
I am voting, rest assured. I wouldn't miss it for anything. Because above the irritating whine of the media is the knowledge that I have a voice, even if it is a small one.
And even bigger than that...I'm praying. Because I believe that the only thing that can save our country from where it is right now is God.
So I'm turning off the TV news. I'm avoiding some of my favorite blogs and websites. I'll be back on Wednesday. Until then, I'm going to pray. Perhaps I'll fast and pray too. Join me, won't you?
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Starting over...again
So, I'm going to be perfectly honest with all of this. Two years ago, I joined LA Weight Loss and in just seven months, I lost nearly 70 pounds. I didn't do the supplements. I just changed the way I ate. The program really worked for me. I felt great, I looked great. I WAS GREAT!
And then I met my wonderful husband. I stopped going to the gym four times a week. We started keeping sugar and white flour in the house. I got pregnant. I worked fulltime during my pregnancy which sucked out all the energy I had to start with, so I sat on my rear end for nine months. And surprise, surprise...I put back on EVERY SINGLE POUND plus a few new ones.
UGH!
And while I know that I can do what I did back then again, it has alluded me. I've tried other diets, only to find them expensive and then quitting. But tonight, I set out to find a diet plan online that was similar or identical to the eating plan I used before.
AND I DID IT!
So this weekend is payday. I resolve to sit down and plan "our" menus for the next two weeks using the plan. I resolve to get exercise back into my routine EVERYDAY. And I resolve to really work hard on the maintenance this time because it is absolutely embarassing to know that I did so well before only to put it back on.
Check back later. I'm going to post a "before" pic. In it, I will pose very similarly to what they do on the Biggest Loser. I'm going to mark out a spot in the house and an outfit to wear. Every four weeks, I will pose again. I am going to keep the diary and record the water intake, the food, the exercise. Why? Simply because I know it works.
So here's to starting over again!
And then I met my wonderful husband. I stopped going to the gym four times a week. We started keeping sugar and white flour in the house. I got pregnant. I worked fulltime during my pregnancy which sucked out all the energy I had to start with, so I sat on my rear end for nine months. And surprise, surprise...I put back on EVERY SINGLE POUND plus a few new ones.
UGH!
And while I know that I can do what I did back then again, it has alluded me. I've tried other diets, only to find them expensive and then quitting. But tonight, I set out to find a diet plan online that was similar or identical to the eating plan I used before.
AND I DID IT!
So this weekend is payday. I resolve to sit down and plan "our" menus for the next two weeks using the plan. I resolve to get exercise back into my routine EVERYDAY. And I resolve to really work hard on the maintenance this time because it is absolutely embarassing to know that I did so well before only to put it back on.
Check back later. I'm going to post a "before" pic. In it, I will pose very similarly to what they do on the Biggest Loser. I'm going to mark out a spot in the house and an outfit to wear. Every four weeks, I will pose again. I am going to keep the diary and record the water intake, the food, the exercise. Why? Simply because I know it works.
So here's to starting over again!
Monday, October 6, 2008
The problem is me
That may seem like a big statement to make. In fact, even as I sit here writing this, I want to say no and go to bed and ignore what is on my heart. And yet I know that like Jonah, I will be tossed in the sea and spit out by the big fish if I am not faithful to the command of the Lord.
We all have problems. Jesus said in Matthew that in this world, well, we would have problems. We would persecuted because we love him. But from the time that rotten old serpent slithered his way into Eve's vision and brought doubt into her mind, this world has been full of problems. Sin created our problems.
But, what of the born again, sanctified, blood-washed saint? Paul said in Romans 6:14,
If we are no longer slaves to sin, than how is it that we still have problems?
With the economy what it is, and the choice we have made for me to stay home and raise our children and manage the household, we are struggling at times to make sense of it all. As we pay off debt, our utilities increase. We never seem to get ahead. We continue to tithe, as we continue to pray believing that no one can afford not to tithe, nor can anyone afford not to spend time in prayer.
God continues to be faithful. He was, He is, and He is to come. Not one letter of His word has changed since He first delivered it to the writers via divine inspiration. And yet, with all of the Bible that I have read and studied, with all of the witness and testimony from my own past, I get afraid. I worry. I doubt. I cry out in exasperation. And I wonder what my problem is.
THE PROBLEM IS ME.
Without grace, I am nothing. I am nothing more than a leaf blowing in the wind. I am here for a season, and then I am swept away. Without grace, I am a sinner who deserves nothing but death. I am a child who needs discipline and reproof yet laughs in the face of the teacher. Without grace, wisdom bestowed upon me is wasted and thrown away. Without grace, I have no value.
But I know that I have been bought with the price of Jesus' blood. I know that His blood has bought for me victory, joy, breakthrough, blessing, and a whole host of other gifts that the Father has given me. Through grace.
And yet, I see myself as having no value. Although I strive to be like Jesus, I badger and belittle myself when I fail. When I feel as though I have no value, I blame my children, my husband, my family, my friends for not seeing and praising me for my value. I tell God that no one appreciates me. I ask for another blessing, but only with my tongue in cheek because I have just told Him that I have no value.
The problem is me.
I have two wonderful boys who God has entrusted me to raise. They share a bedroom and a great distaste for taking responsibility for their own actions. I am actually starting to believe that there is a third boy sharing their bedroom. His name is "Notmee". I say this because I can be assured that this third child is destroying the room that the other two have cleaned. I know this because when I ask them who made the mess on the floor, who took the books off the shelf, who threw their dirty clothes on the floor, they always tell me, "Notmee."
But perhaps the bigger point here is learning to take responsibility for the actions that they blame on each other. The younger of the two always tells me it's not his fault when he spends all of dinner time in laughter because his brother made him laugh. The older one tells me it's not his fault when he hits his brother because his brother made him mad.
To which I ask, "Did he tickle you?" or "Did he get inside your head and tell you that you had to be mad?" They don't like those questions. They dislike the whole idea that while we cannot change the past actions of those around us, we are always able to choose how we will respond to them. Of course, if you are 7 or 10-year olds, you just respond without thought. But not so as an adult and parent, right?
But that's it exactly. When I get a utility bill that has almost doubled, I immediately panic and get afraid and want to blame the utility company for raising their rates. I pray to God and ask Him why He's letting them do this to me. Why am I being punished for their desires? And what I fail to see is that the problem here is not the utility company, it is not my family's fault (well, not entirely...at least), and it is not God's problem. God did not create this problem. And in a heartbeat, I have taken the problem away from Him by becoming irrational and forgetting His promises:
The problem is not God. God's faithfulness has not changed. His love for me has not changed either. The problem is my own doubt and fear.
Perhaps you are experiencing this yourself. Perhaps you have come to the conclusion that the greatest detriment to your own faith deepening isn't the "horrible" choice of songs during praise at church, nor is it the offensive perfume/cologne someone beside you decided to wear. It is not the teaching geared to the soul who is sitting there for the first time hearing the good news, nor is it a baby crying or giggling. The biggest stumbling block in the growth of our faith is ourselves. We tie ourselves to the past, to our failures, to our fears and doubts and then we become the problem.
God has already promised over and over to provide for us more than we can begin to hope or ask for. We need to get out of the way.
Father, I realize that the problems I am experiencing have nothing to do with my intrinsic value in your eyes. They have nothing to do with your faithfulness and promises. The problem is that I want me first--not you. Father, search me and know me. Let me see these things just as you see them, and then remove them from my character. And above all, remove all of my selfish nature. Teach me to ask to be a blessing, and not to just receive one. Teach me to lift others up instead of just trying to stand on their shoulders. And above all, give me more of you and less of me so that I can be light and salt in this world, my temporary home. In Jesus' name, AMEN.
We all have problems. Jesus said in Matthew that in this world, well, we would have problems. We would persecuted because we love him. But from the time that rotten old serpent slithered his way into Eve's vision and brought doubt into her mind, this world has been full of problems. Sin created our problems.
But, what of the born again, sanctified, blood-washed saint? Paul said in Romans 6:14,
Sin is no longer your master, for you are no longer subject to the law,
which enslaves you to sin. Instead, you are free by God's
grace. (NLT)
If we are no longer slaves to sin, than how is it that we still have problems?
With the economy what it is, and the choice we have made for me to stay home and raise our children and manage the household, we are struggling at times to make sense of it all. As we pay off debt, our utilities increase. We never seem to get ahead. We continue to tithe, as we continue to pray believing that no one can afford not to tithe, nor can anyone afford not to spend time in prayer.
God continues to be faithful. He was, He is, and He is to come. Not one letter of His word has changed since He first delivered it to the writers via divine inspiration. And yet, with all of the Bible that I have read and studied, with all of the witness and testimony from my own past, I get afraid. I worry. I doubt. I cry out in exasperation. And I wonder what my problem is.
THE PROBLEM IS ME.
Without grace, I am nothing. I am nothing more than a leaf blowing in the wind. I am here for a season, and then I am swept away. Without grace, I am a sinner who deserves nothing but death. I am a child who needs discipline and reproof yet laughs in the face of the teacher. Without grace, wisdom bestowed upon me is wasted and thrown away. Without grace, I have no value.
But I know that I have been bought with the price of Jesus' blood. I know that His blood has bought for me victory, joy, breakthrough, blessing, and a whole host of other gifts that the Father has given me. Through grace.
And yet, I see myself as having no value. Although I strive to be like Jesus, I badger and belittle myself when I fail. When I feel as though I have no value, I blame my children, my husband, my family, my friends for not seeing and praising me for my value. I tell God that no one appreciates me. I ask for another blessing, but only with my tongue in cheek because I have just told Him that I have no value.
The problem is me.
I have two wonderful boys who God has entrusted me to raise. They share a bedroom and a great distaste for taking responsibility for their own actions. I am actually starting to believe that there is a third boy sharing their bedroom. His name is "Notmee". I say this because I can be assured that this third child is destroying the room that the other two have cleaned. I know this because when I ask them who made the mess on the floor, who took the books off the shelf, who threw their dirty clothes on the floor, they always tell me, "Notmee."
But perhaps the bigger point here is learning to take responsibility for the actions that they blame on each other. The younger of the two always tells me it's not his fault when he spends all of dinner time in laughter because his brother made him laugh. The older one tells me it's not his fault when he hits his brother because his brother made him mad.
To which I ask, "Did he tickle you?" or "Did he get inside your head and tell you that you had to be mad?" They don't like those questions. They dislike the whole idea that while we cannot change the past actions of those around us, we are always able to choose how we will respond to them. Of course, if you are 7 or 10-year olds, you just respond without thought. But not so as an adult and parent, right?
But that's it exactly. When I get a utility bill that has almost doubled, I immediately panic and get afraid and want to blame the utility company for raising their rates. I pray to God and ask Him why He's letting them do this to me. Why am I being punished for their desires? And what I fail to see is that the problem here is not the utility company, it is not my family's fault (well, not entirely...at least), and it is not God's problem. God did not create this problem. And in a heartbeat, I have taken the problem away from Him by becoming irrational and forgetting His promises:
And be sure of this: I am with you always, even to the end of the age.or:
(Matthew 28:20),
So I tell you, don't worry about everyday life-whether you have enough
food, drink, and clothes. Doesn't life consist of more than food and
clothing?... your heavenly Father feeds them. And you are far more valuable
to him than they are. (Matthew 6:25, 26b)
The problem is not God. God's faithfulness has not changed. His love for me has not changed either. The problem is my own doubt and fear.
Perhaps you are experiencing this yourself. Perhaps you have come to the conclusion that the greatest detriment to your own faith deepening isn't the "horrible" choice of songs during praise at church, nor is it the offensive perfume/cologne someone beside you decided to wear. It is not the teaching geared to the soul who is sitting there for the first time hearing the good news, nor is it a baby crying or giggling. The biggest stumbling block in the growth of our faith is ourselves. We tie ourselves to the past, to our failures, to our fears and doubts and then we become the problem.
God has already promised over and over to provide for us more than we can begin to hope or ask for. We need to get out of the way.
Father, I realize that the problems I am experiencing have nothing to do with my intrinsic value in your eyes. They have nothing to do with your faithfulness and promises. The problem is that I want me first--not you. Father, search me and know me. Let me see these things just as you see them, and then remove them from my character. And above all, remove all of my selfish nature. Teach me to ask to be a blessing, and not to just receive one. Teach me to lift others up instead of just trying to stand on their shoulders. And above all, give me more of you and less of me so that I can be light and salt in this world, my temporary home. In Jesus' name, AMEN.
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
Checking in
I have been on a hiatus called life. The summer was very busy with up to seven kids in the house on a given day...softball two or three days a week for my oldest daughter...trips to and from Portland to pick up my husband's children and drop them off...camping in Montana...oh, I couldn't begin to list all the excitement!
The kids are back to school now, and that means days are much quieter. I spend my days volunteering at the middle school (I am doing this for the first time and jumped right in as a Volunteer Coordinator!), cleaning the house, and chasing my beautiful five-month-old baby girl who sits and crawls and rolls! *sigh*
I am alive and well. The family is also alive and well, although we ended the summer with the first fractured bone and stitches caused in an accident--not bad considering I have four kids from 5 mo. to 12 years old! (My youngest son, seven years old, fell off the jungle gym at a city park and landed nose first into a metal beam--fracturing his nose and requiring a few stitches for a small laceration across the bridge of the nose.)
Here's a pic of the baby. Enjoy! And thanks for checking up on me...I hope to be more acclimated to this new lifestyle and more active here again soon.
God bless!
(this picture taken just moments before brother, in orange, broke his nose....)
Saturday, July 19, 2008
Penelope--now available on DVD
It's a rare thing to see or hear me tout a movie, music artist, book, or author. Part of this is because I believe there is so much difference in personal taste. Part of it is that I dislike free advertising for products. However, I'm going to break from my own personal ban on such flag waving to tell you about a most charming movie the children and I have discovered.
"Penelope" is directed by Mark Palansky. I could find little about Mr. Palansky, but the movie, I believe was strongly encouraged by Ms. Reese Witherspoon, of "Legally Blonde" fame. I do think Reese is adorable and have enjoyed many of her movies. But none of them left me touched the way this film did.
The main character is Penelope, a young aristocratic "blue blood" heiress who through some cruel twist of fate and the poor choice of a great-great grandfather is born with a pig's snout and ears. Imagine the horror of the upper crust family upon the birth of the dear child. The curse can be broken but only when the girl finds true love with one of her own kind.
Enter the mayhem that ensues as a good meaning mother attempts to match her daughter with a suitor of like kind. Boys enter unaware and as men run away...or perhaps, it is the other way around. But all believe that the only way for Penelope to become "normal" is through true love and marriage.
I don't want to give too much away, in case you haven't seen it. I highly recommend this movie to anyone with daughters. There is a strong message about learning to love yourself the way you are. And that same message really touched my son (born with cleft lip/palate) who also identified with Penelope's struggle with the mirror and herself within.
Christina Ricci and James McAvoy (think Mr. Tumnus in the first of the Narnia movies from Disney) star with Catherine O'Hara (Home Alone) and of course, the darling Ms. Reese Witherspoon. The movie was released on DVD this past Tuesday, and it is a MUST SEE for anyone with children (I would suggest age 5 or 6 and up).
"Penelope" is directed by Mark Palansky. I could find little about Mr. Palansky, but the movie, I believe was strongly encouraged by Ms. Reese Witherspoon, of "Legally Blonde" fame. I do think Reese is adorable and have enjoyed many of her movies. But none of them left me touched the way this film did.
The main character is Penelope, a young aristocratic "blue blood" heiress who through some cruel twist of fate and the poor choice of a great-great grandfather is born with a pig's snout and ears. Imagine the horror of the upper crust family upon the birth of the dear child. The curse can be broken but only when the girl finds true love with one of her own kind.
Enter the mayhem that ensues as a good meaning mother attempts to match her daughter with a suitor of like kind. Boys enter unaware and as men run away...or perhaps, it is the other way around. But all believe that the only way for Penelope to become "normal" is through true love and marriage.
I don't want to give too much away, in case you haven't seen it. I highly recommend this movie to anyone with daughters. There is a strong message about learning to love yourself the way you are. And that same message really touched my son (born with cleft lip/palate) who also identified with Penelope's struggle with the mirror and herself within.
Christina Ricci and James McAvoy (think Mr. Tumnus in the first of the Narnia movies from Disney) star with Catherine O'Hara (Home Alone) and of course, the darling Ms. Reese Witherspoon. The movie was released on DVD this past Tuesday, and it is a MUST SEE for anyone with children (I would suggest age 5 or 6 and up).
Friday, July 18, 2008
Forever
"For the Lord is good and his love endures forever;
his faithfulness continues through all generations." --Psalm 100:5 NIV
What a great verse to consider as we prepare for another beautiful summer weekend! The Lord is good! Sunny, lazy days in the backyard with the kids, on the beach by the lake or ocean, camping in the wild, or wherever your weekend will take you, the Lord has been good to you. He has given you good health to enjoy the day. He has surrounded you with friends and family. He is truly good!
And his love endures forever! Just how long is forever? Forever goes back before you were born. It reaches beyond the time when your grandparents, great-grandparents, their grandparents were born. It goes back beyond the first day on earth. And it reaches out before us beyond any generation we can begin to fathom. Forever means without beginning or an end. His love, unlike our own, has no end. It is not subject to whim or mood. It will not stop because we have done something to upset Him. Nothing we can do will cause Him to stop loving us. NOTHING! How wonderful is that???
And his faithfulness? It continues throughout all generations. Well, that's pretty much as good as forever, right? His faithfulness--his ability to be what He says He is, to do what He says He's going to do--is going to continue on beyond us, beyond our children, their children, and their children's children. His promises are forever. His faithfulness is without end.
What a great promise to grab onto and dwell on during a beautiful Friday like today!
Father, I am amazed that you have chosen to love me at all, but to love me forever--without beginning or end--that's too much for me to grasp. I love you because You first loved me, and that is all my human heart is capable of. I praise You for the works of your hands, the kindness of your heart, and the faithfulness of your Spirit. Continue to work in me as I raise my children, as I help my husband, and as I encounter those around me who do not know you. Make me a blessing and a witness to your love without end and your faithfulness throughout the generations today and each day! In Jesus' name, AMEN.
his faithfulness continues through all generations." --Psalm 100:5 NIV
What a great verse to consider as we prepare for another beautiful summer weekend! The Lord is good! Sunny, lazy days in the backyard with the kids, on the beach by the lake or ocean, camping in the wild, or wherever your weekend will take you, the Lord has been good to you. He has given you good health to enjoy the day. He has surrounded you with friends and family. He is truly good!
And his love endures forever! Just how long is forever? Forever goes back before you were born. It reaches beyond the time when your grandparents, great-grandparents, their grandparents were born. It goes back beyond the first day on earth. And it reaches out before us beyond any generation we can begin to fathom. Forever means without beginning or an end. His love, unlike our own, has no end. It is not subject to whim or mood. It will not stop because we have done something to upset Him. Nothing we can do will cause Him to stop loving us. NOTHING! How wonderful is that???
And his faithfulness? It continues throughout all generations. Well, that's pretty much as good as forever, right? His faithfulness--his ability to be what He says He is, to do what He says He's going to do--is going to continue on beyond us, beyond our children, their children, and their children's children. His promises are forever. His faithfulness is without end.
What a great promise to grab onto and dwell on during a beautiful Friday like today!
Father, I am amazed that you have chosen to love me at all, but to love me forever--without beginning or end--that's too much for me to grasp. I love you because You first loved me, and that is all my human heart is capable of. I praise You for the works of your hands, the kindness of your heart, and the faithfulness of your Spirit. Continue to work in me as I raise my children, as I help my husband, and as I encounter those around me who do not know you. Make me a blessing and a witness to your love without end and your faithfulness throughout the generations today and each day! In Jesus' name, AMEN.
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