Best from the Past--The Myth of Unanswered Prayer

Thank you for all the kind words. Baby and Mommy are now home and trying to acclimate to new routines. I will try to get more pictures up soon and share some of the joy I'm feeling. I hope you enjoy this blog that I wrote almost a year ago. It's one of my favorites (I sometimes am shocked when I read it that I actually wrote it LOL).


I have heard many people (myself included) whine about how God does not hear or answer their prayers. They bring before God a list of wants (some needs) and then wait for Him to wave a magic wand...and poof...everything is just the way that they would have wished for. They believe in some misguided way that God is nothing more than a genie locked inside a bottle that they can rub on their knees and know that He will make their every want and need happen.



Like I said, I have even been at this point in my own life. I have come before God with a list of wants, handed them to Him "graciously", and then complained that God did not hear me, or, if He did hear them, He simply chose to ignore me. This is what I call "The Myth of Unanswered Prayer."



Yes, I said MYTH. As in the exact opposite of fact, or even truth. But I will not make such a bold statement without supporting my belief that unanswered prayer is a make-believe phenomenom we create.

"Indeed, he who watches over (you) Israel will neither slumber nor sleep." --Psalm 121:4

If God is not someone who sleeps or slumbers, then how can I believe that He does not hear me? Has he gone deaf? Dumb? Blind? Mute? No, God is never sleeping, unlike the gods of the Philistines:

"At noon Elijah began to taunt them. "Shout louder!" he said. "Surely he is a god! Perhaps he is deep in thought, or busy, or traveling. Maybe he is sleeping and must be awakened." --I Kings 18:27

As the story continues, we see Elijah taunt the followers of Baal to arouse their god to action. In fact, in an attempt to get Baal to respond, these worshipers went so far as to cut themselves until they bled! And yet, Baal never responded. Elijah waited as the men "worshipped" for hours, all to no avail. Then, to show the power of the One true God, he called on the name of the Lord as he rebuilt the altar, doused it heavily with water (including the surrounding areas). In a short prayer, Elijah called to God to fall upon the altar in fire. Lo and behold, the altar and the surrounding areas were consumed with fire.



Now, the God of Elijah is the same God that I love, worship and serve. If God was able to hear and to drop fire upon the altar, why would He not be able to hear and answer my prayers?

"'Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know.'" --Jeremiah 33:3

First, let's look at this in bits and pieces. This is God speaking to the people of Israel. He begins His promise with a command: call to me. Note that God did not make a stipulation on when, where, or how to call upon Him, just that we do it. We must call upon Him. Second, He promises us that when we do call upon Him, He will answer us. Yes, that's right...He will answer us. It doesn't say He might answer us if He has time, if the tide is right, if our prayer is poetically stated. It says simply that He will answer us. PERIOD. If this is the same God that consumed the altar doused with water for Elijah, we have no choice but to believe that He is listening and powerful; He is the One True God. What He says He will do, He does. We can ABSOLUTELY count on Him to keep all of His promises.



If we believe the above things, then it is simple. There can be no such thing as unheard or unanswered prayer. God has promised to hear us when we call. But it gets better!



In the last part of the verse, God promises something even better! I will tell you GREAT and UNSEARCHABLE things you do not know.



Great means big, of an extreme degree. Not just large, but powerful, huge, beyond our comprehension. Unsearchable means that these things are things that we cannot find on our own. So when we say that God did not hear or answer our prayer, we are undermining God's promise to us.



Perhaps the real problem is this: not that God is not listening to us and answering us, but that we are not listening to God's actual response.



How many women have prayed repeatedly for a man to be a part of their life and then become angry at God when one did not magically appear? Girl, I have done it myself! But perhaps, it is not that God did not hear the prayer, but that God heard it and in His infinite wisdom, instead of waving the "magic wand" and producing a man, God has asked me (or you) to wait until we are walking with Him, seeking His will first, and then allowing the man we are to be with for life to mature to a point to love us as God has called husbands to do. Perhaps the "No" we thought we heard was simply a "not yet". Perhaps the silence was divine provision to protect us from a potentially harmful relationship.How many of us have prayed that God will increase our financial blessings, only to struggle for months, perhaps years, to make ends meet? In frustration, we think that God must not hear us, or if He does, He does not truly care about our "needs". I have been there too! But perhaps it is not that God has ignored us or fallen asleep, but that He knows that there is a better way, and that the struggle to bring our finances in line with His will (and sometimes also to develop a reliance on Him, and to develop humility through broken pride) will require that we come to the edge of total disaster before we can be blessed. Remember, Jesus told the rich young man in Matthew that it would be easier for a camel to enter through an eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the Kingdom of God! Perhaps, until we have learned humility and Godly stewardship of our resources, we are little more than "poor" rich young men. We seek God, kinda. We seek Him so long as His will allows us to have new furniture (nevermind that the current "paid for" furniture is still in fair condition), to buy a new toy (a boat on a 30 year loan seems great the first year on the water), or the week long vacation in the tropics (which was great until we peeled from the sunburn and read the interest statement on the credit card we used to pay for the trip). But perhaps God wants us to learn to be frugal and to become givers (not just takers) before He will expand our financial resources. I think of the early church in Acts. We are told that they sold everything they had and shared with each other according to need. Clearly, there were some in the early church who were more financially stable than others. But when they were willing to give it all up, even those who had no income were provided for. God rarely hands us a $10,000 check when we come up short. However, He will provide meals for us that we don't have to buy. He will provide blessings in the form of entertainment for the single mother who has nothing left after paying the bills for her family to enjoy. He hears us and answers us. Generally, the problem is that His answer is not "our" answer.



I could continue to go on and on with examples. But the point is simple. I once believed that God simply did not answer every prayer. However, with time, prayer, and patience, God has taught me that every prayer is answered. Some are answered immediately; others take years. Some are answered with an emphatic "yes", but many more are answered with "not yet", "not now", or simply "no." When I come to a prayer request that seems to be unanswered, I simply step back and look harder. I let go, listen more, and wait. God does NOT slumber or sleep. He does NOT ignore His children. He simply sees far more and can do far more than we will ever be able to fully grasp.



And you know what? I'm glad! For every "unanswered" prayer I've griped about, there has been a great provision and blessing in God's answer that wasn't what I was hoping for.

"Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test what God's will is--his good, pleasing, and perfect will." --Romans 12:2

God is so good

It's tax time again. And for the first time in many years, I faced the possibility of not getting a refund. With two incomes, things are drastically different in the tax world. But we trudged forward and found that we were going to get a refund, and a decent one at that. We proceeded to file and sent off our taxes via E-File only to get a message back less than 24 hours later that our tax filing had been rejected due to dependent issues (we are both divorced and have to alternate claiming the kids with our ex-spouses). We paid a professional tax preparer to look into the situation for us, and basically we were told we were likely out of luck.

But we prayed about and did some research on our own. With a little bit of documentation, we decided to send off our tax forms with a letter and back-up paperwork via snail mail with the understanding that they would not process our taxes for 6-8 weeks and that it could be 6-8 months before we saw any money.

This morning, while doing some financial "work" to get ready for having the baby, we accessed our checking account online. Much to our surprise, our balance was dramatically higher than we expected. Our tax returns came through in less than 3 weeks! We couldn't have asked for a faster return or better timing!

Along the way, we both agreed not to feel like we were entitled to anything. Part of the reason I did this was to avoid "righteous" anger, and partially because I've always believed that tax return money isn't necessarily an entitlement but a blessing. We had submittted to God this issue and done what we believed was right, but we had no idea what the answer might be. Getting this answer with this timing is such a blessing and further proof why we should always turn these things over to God.

Now we're going to try to be patient for another 36 hours or so until we get to have this baby!

Then Sings My Soul Saturday--"First Time"

Many thanks to Amy over at "Signs, Miracles, and Wonders" for starting this wonderful music meme--one of my personal favorites! Although I am anticipating being VERY busy this Saturday with a brand new baby, I'm going to take advantage of the ability to write this now (Tuesday afternoon), and post it late Friday night or Saturday morning.

Perhaps in response to preparing our hearts and home for our new baby, I've been thinking about something that God has given me--something that I could never have truly expected to receive although I continued to ask God for it in faith. My doubt had more to do with it being a fairytale than about God being able to provide.

When I became a single mom back in 2002 after over 8 years of marriage, everything that I had held onto as being real and true was ripped from my hands, my life, and my heart. The sacredness of the wedding vows I had spoken at the very tender age of 18 seemed so very far away, and while I never questioned God or blamed Him for the position I found myself in, I did question His design for family and marriage. At the same time, however, I knew that the only way to survive my new lot in life was to stay connected to God and the church. But often I found that the church judged me and made me question myself more often than not.

And yet, in time, I found healing from my divorce and the strength to reject the ideas that left me judged and marked with a scarlet letter. I found the grace and forgiveness that Jesus bought for me with his life on a crude wooden cross. I realized that although I had made choices and embraced decisions that ultimately helped destroy the marriage and family I was mourning, God looked at me and saw a precious little child who was hurt and broken, and reached out His arms to hug me and to calm me.
Ask me and I will tell you some remarkable secrets about what is going to happen here. --Jeremiah 33:3 NLT

The same grace that Jesus extended to the woman caught in adultery, the same forgiveness he gave to the leper and to the criminal on the cross beside me were being extended to me. I just had to find healing and forgive myself. I needed to seek God first in my life and move on.

But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. --Matthew 6:33 NIV

As I let go of my desire for a man in my life and replaced it with the desire to live for and serve God regardless of what my life looked like, God led me to some truths I had missed previously. I read the book of Ruth in a new light. I saw the provision of a wife for Isaac (and the provision of a husband for Rebekah). I saw a different way of meeting and mating than what I had experienced and viewed growing up. I saw a different version of marriage and husbandry. And I did not know if I could pick that kind of person for myself, and oh how I wanted a husband like that for myself (and a father like that for my children!).

I wanted a love, a husband who would love me like Christ loved the church, and I knew the husband I had the first time around didn't know what that meant, let alone attempted to be that. I wanted what God wanted, and more.

I gave up my hunt for a husband, realizing that I was not equipped for the search.

And I decided to surround myself with Christian friends in my neighborhood--male and female--instead of seeking a boyfriend. I hit myspace looking for these kind of people in my neighborhood. (A large number of the people I saw there paid lip service to their faith, but I had learned how to tell from a few simple sentences which were not at the same place as I, and went into it with eyes wide open).

And little did I know, there was this awesome Christian man who had been on a journey of heartbreak, healing, and was also looking for someone to spend his life with. And you know what! ? ! He lived less than 2 miles away from me...and he wanted more kids (lots more! which is good since I came with three to start...)!

Over time, I realize that what I have with my husband, my second chance, is so totally different and exactly what God had intended for me from the beginning. And when I listen to "First Time" by Lifehouse, it speaks exactly what my heart feels. I am so grateful for the second chance. And to be honest, it actually is better than the first time. It's amazing what happens when we live within God's will!

Enjoy a little bit of Lifehouse for me!

Blessing out of frustration

At some point in our spiritual journey, we realize that nothing happens in our life in a random, irrelevant order. Everything that happens is an opportunity for spiritual growth--if we stop to evaluate and pray about it. Sometimes these events are large and hugely life altering. Other times, they are as seemingly inconsequential.

I have been blessed with three beautiful children--ages 11, 10, and 7. Each one of my pregnancies started out simply--no stretch marks, no morning sickness, and only mild emotionality. However, by the end of each pregnancy, my blood pressure would become elevated, protein would start to spill from my kidneys into my urine, and I would be put on bedrest for treatment of pre-eclampsia.

Even though I was treated in all three pregnancies for pre-eclampsia, I was still blessed. I never had to experience mag sulfate, seizures, or any of the worst symptoms. But all the same, I was watched like a hawk for problems with my baby or my own health.

Enter pregnancy #4.

With the history I have of pre-eclampsia, the doctors started my care watching me closely for any development of PIH (pregnancy-induced hypertension) which could lead to pre-eclampsia. Throughout my pregnancy, I've had extra bloodwork and urine testing. They monitored my blood pressure closely. And here I am, 40 weeks and 1 day into my pregnancy with normal blood pressure, no protein or sugar in my urine, or any other symptoms of PIH or pre-eclampsia. It is exactly the opposite of what the doctors would have predicted for my pregnancy.

But, my good health and the blessing of an uneventful pregnancy has presented me with frustration. In each of my three preceding pregnancies, I was put on bedrest and ultimately induced just prior to my due dates to avoid major issues. I never went to full term (although none of my babies were "preterm" either). Today, one day past my due date, I am frustrated that I am still pregnant.

In my frustration of still being pregnant, I have missed the lesson here.

I have missed the miracle of a pregnancy without complication.

I have missed the wonder that my body has responded more positively to this baby than it has in the past.

I have missed that God has healed the issue that caused me repeated battles with pre-eclampsia.

I have missed the blessing, the miracle, the wonder of it all.

And perhaps that is why I am still pregnant. Perhaps God has been waiting for me to "wake up" and see the blessing, to grow spiritually beyond what I expected to happen and to embrace the miracle.

So, while I can't keep my maternity jeans up over my belly because it continues to expand, and while I can't remember the last time I saw my feet, and I can't sleep without some extremity falling asleep, I am going to wait patiently and embrace the blessing that baby and I are both health and safe to proceed for at least nine more days. And I'm going to trust God that whatever He has planned for us is best.

"For I know the plans I have for you," says the Lord. "They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope."

--Jeremiah 29:11 NLT

The Pattern

I have always loved geometric patterns, especially those repeating kinds that almost seem to create an optical illusion. I remember spending hours coloring in these really cool coloring books my grammy gave me filled with those kinds of patterns. I loved doing that.

When I was still quite young, my mom taught me how to cross stitch. My first "piece" was very simple, only about 20 stitches, but she taught me how to read a pattern and count out the stitches on the fabric and how to read the pattern for color and stitch type. At age seven, I had completed several very basic pieces.

As a young child I also remember watching the ladies from my grammy's church come together over an elaborate piece quilt. Together, they put all these little shapes together to create an elaborate design. And I remember watching my mother stitch on a white-on-white baby quilt to create a picture on an otherwise blank piece of cotton.

The thing about patterns is that they take separate things and entities that mean nothing alone and put them together in a harmony that creates something larger and more complex (and often more beautiful and enjoyable) than any of the individual pieces. Patterns often teach us how to "read" them also, making further sense of the colors and shapes involved. Some patterns are simple, much like my first cross stitch piece. Other patterns, like the log cabin piece quilts I saw, were complicated and required forethought and skill to put together in a way that made sense.

Life is really not much different. We start with a simple pattern with very simple "stitches" and color "schemes". As children we learn from a small environment, normally our parents, how certain things go together. These are often simple things like saying "Please" and "Thank you" when making requests. There are few variables, at first, and we see them happen repeatedly, and we are urged even more repeatedly to follow that pattern.

As we age, the color scheme is broadened, more stitches are learned and used, and the overall complexity of the pattern is greater. We suddenly are in positions where we have to "fill in" the pattern from past experience. At times, we aren't sure what should go next and we are left to simply sink or swim on our own. Sometimes we have enough history with a particular pattern to make a fairly reasonable guess as to how we should respond. Sometimes we have nothing to help us. And sometimes, we just ignore it all and do what "feels" best to us.

But where I've found that life is not a simple matter of patterns is that it appears too many times in my own life, someone has grabbed the piece I was working on and replaced it with a new piece, sometimes even a new medium to create on and with. For instance, as I was having my children, I woke to a child who wasn't "perfect". His pattern had a flaw, and as I was perfecting the motherhood thing, I was thrown off kilter. Everything I thought I knew, everything I thought I could do was yanked out of my hands. Instead, I was given a new pattern, one with foreign names and colors and a totally different medium. My life took a totally different course because of the change.

Similarly, when my marriage failed, I realized that I didn't have a good pattern to work from at all. The pattern that I held in my hands was loosely planned and devised and highly inadequate for creating a piece that reflected anything of beauty. Instead it represented disjointed stitches in conflicting color schemes that played themselves out in a pattern of randomness that made little sense to anyone. Even as I realized how poor that pattern was, I clung to it because it was all I knew. But that pattern, too, was ripped from my hands.

In an attempt to create something better from what was left afterward, I attempted to create a new pattern for my life and for my children. For perhaps the first time in my life, I truly realized how much I needed someone or something bigger to guide my pattern. I sought God to make something useful out of the bits and pieces of the patterns I had been working on and having ripped from my hands all along the road of my life. I gave Him the control to make the stitches here and there, to change colors when needed, even when I couldn't see any sort of "real" pattern.

Over a period of five years, I faced parenting three children without a spouse. But God gave me angels to help out. He placed boundaries to keep me from becoming reckless with fatigue or being overwhelmed. He placed me in a church home that was supportive, even if not perfect. In time, He yanked my preconceived notions of the pattern He was creating for me. Time after time, He has changed the pattern, often to my own frustration. But I have attempted to be faithful, even when it has required me to give up the things I held most dear (i.e. things besides Him). Sometimes the "sacrifice" of what I wanted was painful and brought me to tears. Other times, it has left me in disbelief. Over all, it has left me totally and overwhelmingly blessed beyond what I deserve.

I still can't see the final "pattern" of my life. I can look back at squares that make no sense on their own, nor with the squares around them. But what gives me hope, what keeps me pressing on is the knowledge that one day I will stand beside the Creator and look back on the pattern, and I will know that it is beautiful because of the "Artist" who has created it.

"For I know the plans I have for you," says the Lord. "They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope."

--Jeremiah 29.11 (NLT)