Wednesday, April 2, 2008

Blessing out of frustration

At some point in our spiritual journey, we realize that nothing happens in our life in a random, irrelevant order. Everything that happens is an opportunity for spiritual growth--if we stop to evaluate and pray about it. Sometimes these events are large and hugely life altering. Other times, they are as seemingly inconsequential.

I have been blessed with three beautiful children--ages 11, 10, and 7. Each one of my pregnancies started out simply--no stretch marks, no morning sickness, and only mild emotionality. However, by the end of each pregnancy, my blood pressure would become elevated, protein would start to spill from my kidneys into my urine, and I would be put on bedrest for treatment of pre-eclampsia.

Even though I was treated in all three pregnancies for pre-eclampsia, I was still blessed. I never had to experience mag sulfate, seizures, or any of the worst symptoms. But all the same, I was watched like a hawk for problems with my baby or my own health.

Enter pregnancy #4.

With the history I have of pre-eclampsia, the doctors started my care watching me closely for any development of PIH (pregnancy-induced hypertension) which could lead to pre-eclampsia. Throughout my pregnancy, I've had extra bloodwork and urine testing. They monitored my blood pressure closely. And here I am, 40 weeks and 1 day into my pregnancy with normal blood pressure, no protein or sugar in my urine, or any other symptoms of PIH or pre-eclampsia. It is exactly the opposite of what the doctors would have predicted for my pregnancy.

But, my good health and the blessing of an uneventful pregnancy has presented me with frustration. In each of my three preceding pregnancies, I was put on bedrest and ultimately induced just prior to my due dates to avoid major issues. I never went to full term (although none of my babies were "preterm" either). Today, one day past my due date, I am frustrated that I am still pregnant.

In my frustration of still being pregnant, I have missed the lesson here.

I have missed the miracle of a pregnancy without complication.

I have missed the wonder that my body has responded more positively to this baby than it has in the past.

I have missed that God has healed the issue that caused me repeated battles with pre-eclampsia.

I have missed the blessing, the miracle, the wonder of it all.

And perhaps that is why I am still pregnant. Perhaps God has been waiting for me to "wake up" and see the blessing, to grow spiritually beyond what I expected to happen and to embrace the miracle.

So, while I can't keep my maternity jeans up over my belly because it continues to expand, and while I can't remember the last time I saw my feet, and I can't sleep without some extremity falling asleep, I am going to wait patiently and embrace the blessing that baby and I are both health and safe to proceed for at least nine more days. And I'm going to trust God that whatever He has planned for us is best.

"For I know the plans I have for you," says the Lord. "They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope."
--Jeremiah 29:11 NLT


Mindy said...

Premature births and maternal distress related to hypertension and preeclampsia can result in over 10,000 infant deaths and up to $5 billion in annual health care costs in the U.S. But a recent medical breakthrough can alleviate both the worry of infant death and the cost of this expensive health concern. David Chaffin, MD, and Denise G. Webb, CRNP developed MIST in 2002 at the Marshall University's Maternal Hypertension Center through Cabell Huntington Hospital in Huntington, WV, conducting clinical evaluations with results showing a 50% reduction in preeclampsia and zero maternal and infant mortalities in treating over 1400 at risk women. Visit for more information and start asking your doctor for your MIST test today.

BrownEyedGirl-- said...

Wow, truly a blessing!! Glad you at least realize it! :)

Stephanie said...

God really does surprise us sometimes, doesn't He? When I was in the first trimester with my son, I had high blood pressure from conception. I tried to tell my doctor that I was just a little unnerved about the whole birth process, but she didn't believe me. She was convinced that I would experience what you did with your first three. God was in control of that little life, not her and not me.

When I read your story, I kept hearing a song that I just heard on another blog. It is called "your gonna miss this". Even though you are ready to go, I think you also know that you will miss these days before giving birth.

Prayers to you for a healthy baby and mommy!